Excerpts

Hole #2 Help For Tin Cup

“TC, when divorce happens, friends almost always chose sides,” I reminded him. Usually, they side with whomever they were closer to. Usually, they only hear that side of the story, or they simply chose to believe what they hear from that side. People who do not get both sides may not be worth keeping as friends. You will not likely change their view at this point. They will believe your wife in this case. I imagine your close friends are still your friends. Am I right?”

“Yes,” said TC.

I finished the thought by saying, “TC, it is human nature, and you will never change human nature.”

“I suppose you are right,” TC replied.​

“Let it go, TC. Get on with your life.”

I followed up with, “Forgive her. No one is perfect, TC. She has goodness in her. You have told me so yourself. She was fair and did not try to take advantage of you during the divorce proceedings. I know that you also went way beyond your obligations to be fair to her in the divorce.

“You also told me there are things that you could have done better during your marriage. So, both parties have some ownership in this failure. It is rare for only one person to be guilty in the failure of a relationship.

“Think about where you could have done better, and learn from it. Consider that, in general, you both are good people. It just did not work out, TC.

Never feel you failed in a relationship….”I tried” is the most confident thing one can say about a relationship that didn’t work out. The love one person takes for granted… others are praying for!

Hole #4 Are Men Really Brain Dead?

“Love is what we call the situation which occurs when two people who are sexually compatible discover that they can also tolerate one another in various other circumstances.”

— Marc Maihueird a.k.a. Mark My Word and Anonymous​

Hang in here with me on this. It is rather interesting and explains a lot.​​

Medical research discovered that in the womb, around the eighteenth and twenty-sixth weeks of gestation, something happens that completely changes the males from the females. When using heat-sensitive color monitors, the researchers can observe what happens. A chemical bath of different sex-related hormones washes over a baby boy’s brain, causing some significant changes that never happen to the brain of a baby girl.​​

Basically, the human brain is divided into two hemispheres, or halves, each one being connected by a fibrous tissue called the Corpus Collosum. These sex-related chemicals and hormones that flood a baby male’s brain will cause the right side of the male’s brain to recede slightly, which destroys some of the fibers of the Corpus Collosum that connects the two sides of the brain. As a result, in about 80% of the cases, the male starts life more left-brain-orientated right from birth.​​

So, what about the females?

Hole #8 Divorce Eye Openers

You will not have a Happy, Loving, Long-Term Relationship if you attempt to control your partner by attempting to brainwash them or by making them believe that they are inferior to you.​​​

You will fail your relationship if you attempt to make them feel they are incapable of achieving their goals.​​​

Actually, if you refuse to allow them to be better than yourself, by having a better job or making more money than you, then you place your leadership in jeopardy. Your decision-making process in your own home becomes suspect.​​​

As men, many times we believe that we have to be the one that earns the most money or have the best-paying career. We try to be the proverbial “man of the house.” In many cases, this undermines the man’s ability to be the best husband he can be.​​​

This thinking can stunt his ability to support his mate in happiness, as the world is changing. Women earn more than their spouses at many times. Of course, a woman can only do this when she is supported to do so.​​​

When the man becomes non-supportive of his wife’s attempts at success, or he becomes a tyrant in other ways in the relationship, his partner will generally reject him, sooner or later, and file for divorce.​​​

Remember, love is given freely, can be withdrawn at any time, and is not a possession.​​​

You do not own your partner. Love is a gift that is given freely and should be honored. We all need to give love and support in order to receive love and support in return. We must help our partner to be the best he or her can be.​​​

Interestingly, those who divorce rarely marry the person with whom they are having the affair.

Golf Gimme 8: My First PGA Tournament

As usual, I was very focused while striking balls on the practice tee. For some reason I suddenly realized there were a number of other balls flying out on the range along with mine.​

On this day, these people were hitting behind me because I was on the right, and I had my back to the rest of the range. I turned around to see who else was hitting balls with me. As I look down the line of competitors, what I saw took me back.​​

Hitting balls behind me were all these guys I had idolized on television for years. Suddenly, I was out on the range warming up to go compete with these legends. I have to admit I will never forget the thought that went through my mind.​​

I said to myself, “WHAT THE F!@#$%^&* ARE YOU DOING HERE WITH THESE GUYS?!!​​

A big lump rose in my throat! I started to feel some nervousness as I felt very out of place. After all, many of these guys were playing professionally when I was just a young man, merely thinking of trying the game. The experience they had over me was mind-boggling. It had not hit me to that extent like it did at that moment.​​

Then I started to look at them as individuals…..

Snack Shack A Dear John Letter Worth Sharing

“I believe that love can begin with a smile. A touch can be the fertilizer that makes love begin to grow. A kiss can help it bloom into a relationship. Making wonderful love can begin to build the foundation of the couple as a family unit. Looks can deceive and fade away. The inner beauty is critical. Wealth can be lost. Discovering someone who makes you smile is crucial because it only takes a smile to make a dark day seem bright. So, find the person who makes your heart smile, a best friend in whom there is something that makes you miss them every moment when they are away from you. Find the person who can almost read your mind and somehow instinctively knows your needs, moods, weaknesses, turn-ons, and the depths of your heart, while being trustworthy, responsible, caring, and selfless. Then you have found true love, my friend.”​

— John A. Gehrisch American Entrepreneur and Tour Golf Professional​​

Date: Oct 8, 2015 GMT​​

Dear John,​​

Dear, you mentioned that you have developed a formula for a Happy, Loving, Long-Term Relationships. After speaking with you, I am excited and look forward to your book. And did you think about how we fall in love and about how we understand if a person is that one and only?​​

How do you know when you love someone? You find yourself thinking about them, not just the way…

Hole #10 A Few Things Every Man Needs

If you look at the true basis for love, it is not just a feeling, but rather a decision.

How can a woman place a value on the way her mate thinks, appreciates, and reflects on things? There are a number of ways.

One of the most important things is the man must feel appreciated and admired by others. This becomes especially critical from the woman in his life. Most men will do almost anything to get and receive it. If they do not get it at home, they will literally seek it elsewhere. I have seen it where couples have been married for years, and suddenly the man is lured away by some younger girl who is impressed with his success and shows him admiration. He may love his wife, but over the years she has begun to take for granted all he does to support his family. He misses being openly admired by her and his family. As part of his nature, he needs the gratification of appreciation.

Suddenly, he finds it elsewhere. Whether he seeks it out, or it finds it by accident, he needs it. He craves it. He almost cannot exist happily without it. And the new woman, excited by all he does, steals his heart away.

No man makes perfect decisions all of the time. Personally, I have never cheated in a committed relationship, even when I did not feel appreciated. But I will tell you that I longed for that appreciation. When I got it from others, I could understand where weaker men could be swayed. I cannot judge them for it. Most days I got up through the motivation of doing for my family. I noticed a real slow down in motivation during my divorced days. Only when I saw a potential admiring woman in my life, did I feel revitalized.